Is Singlehood Really A Blessing?

"To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am." - (1 Corinthians 7:8)

Hello Kings & Queen,


Well, I am back at it again with another post. But this time I just want to let my guard down and talk about something I am constantly thinking about.  As some of you may know I am at that "amazing" age where I desire true love. It's not like I am out here in these streets literally looking for it and trust me when I say I know what it is like to be loved because I am surrounded by people who love me daily. And before you all say something I know how my heavenly father feels about me. I guess what I am trying to say is that I have been thinking about traveling, settling down, getting married and possibly having some beautiful babies for quite sometime now. I do not want to blame everything on my age (26), but I seriously think I need to take a chill pill because I haven't really given myself the chance to enjoy the blessings of single-hood. I always find myself in a predicament where I am either crushing on someone or being in some kind of situation-ship mess. I just can't help, but ask myself these questions,
1. Do I fully know myself through Christ?
2. Have I accomplished the main goals God has set for me first?
3. Am I even ready for marriage and everything that comes with it? I can't even say that I am ready for motherhood. SIGH!

I truly believe that the Devil is specifically after those who are single...Don't get me wrong! I know he is after everyone, but there is something that makes him ((tremble)) when he sees single men and women devoting their lives to Jesus Christ. The Devil has a way of discouraging those who live for Christ through their lifestyle, the church and ministry. But since I like to see the beauty in everything I know it is safe to say that God can use us in any season; even the season of singleness. He uses us through our faith and time well spent with him. Now let's open up our bibles to 1 Corinthians 7 where Paul talks about Marriage and also Single Life.

Starting with 1 Corinthians 7:7-9 where Paul said, " But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another. So I say to those who aren't married and to is better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can't control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It's better than to burn with lust." For the longest I wondered why Paul thought it was best to stay unmarried or being single, but now I see the spiritual benefits of being single.
1) You are free from any concerns you might have about life. (1 Corinthians 7:32)
2) You don't have to please anyone. You have the time to be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. (1 Corinthians 7:34)
3) You can focus on whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible. (1 Corinthians 7:35) You are opened to worship, devoting time to God and your ministry.

"Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you." - (1 Corinthians 7:17) Reading that verse just made me realize that no matter where I am in life with my thoughts I have to appreciate the situation that I am in and remain myself in Christ because I still have a purpose to fulfill married or not married.

As much as I agree with Paul in all levels I still have a deep, undeniable desire for a loving and committed husband. But I do not want my desires for marriage to lead me into marrying the wrong one. I hope that reflecting on 1 Corinthians 7 will restore my hope and ambition to carry out God's purpose for me even if I am not yet married; possibly set a solid foundation for me to understand my mission as a single woman.

My greatest temptation as a single woman would be thinking that marriage could be the missing puzzle I have been looking for when it comes to my needs, weaknesses, unknown gifts and other things. But just reading what Paul said over and over puts marriage into perspective for me. YES! I do want to be married, but I am seeing that this walk with Jesus Christ is not easy and adding myself to another persons life in this world full of sin is one I have to be spiritually ready for with the help of God. When I think of marriage I think of the unique joy it brings, the ability to put two mindset together and the relief it may bring in certain areas. But immediately I think about all the distractions that may be set in front of me. Like for an example being responsible for my spouse, his needs, his dreams and helping him grow in Christ as well. I see marriage has a higher calling, a very demanding calling for that matter.

The season of singleness is not for you to just focus on wanting to get married. It is a season for you to appreciate the moments you spend with God and your 'not so distracted path' of spreading the gospel to others. With God living in you and your not so busy schedule, God has given us everything we need in order to make a difference in his kingdom. With the help of God I have to appreciate the freedom I have and invest in myself, my time, my resources, my youth and my ministry. I also want to be flexible when it comes to relationships include the guy I talk to :) and know that all these things can bear unbelievable fruits.

I am not giving up on love because I love being in love. But I also want to do everything in God's timing. When marriage comes in the right time I won't hesitate to accept it with open arms. But for now I will appreciate the beauty of getting to know people and paying close attention to my walk with Christ.

At the end of the day no one wants to rush marriage or to be married to someone who was never placed in your path through God. Like my mom said yesterday,"You don't want to live with a mistake you can not take back or fix." Talk about being deep on all levels!



  1. I agree. This season is the time to focus on God's purpose for your life and to build on yourself. We can be happy with or without a partner, because we have Christ.